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haynaku.

sigh. asa internet cafe na naman ako, actually tapos nako sa gagawin ko. I just don't feel like going back to the dorm. Minsan kasi its nice just being by yourself at walang pakealam yung mga tao around you. I guess its pretty obvious na mejo depressed ako. Aside from the usual school stuff its been extra draining kanina. Tapos naisipan ko pang magbasa nung past entries sa blog nung mga sisters ko. Kahit na ayaw nila pa read sa kin yun I still read it. Kasi its the only way of knowing how they really are. I never really tell them anything pero the truth is I miss them a lot. Kahit na umuuwi ako I never get the chance to really be with them. Usually when I go home natutulog ako agad and then the next day homework agad. Sometimes nga di nako nakakasama sa Heritage dahil sa schoolwork. Nung nagbasa ako nung past entries ng sisters ko, I came across this one entry ni ate. It was about my dad and the day he died. I remember that day, nakuha ko yung text and spbrang kinabahan ako, and then when I got there the way my dad looked, it was so traumatizing and scary I cried. All the more na I felt alone kasi wala yung mom ko and wala din yung sisters ko. I really was alone. Naasar naman ako now kasi binasa ko pa yung entry na yun. I know this entry is pathetic and sad and incredibly lame pero I cant help it. Its so melodramatic. I feel so hypocritical kasi naiirita ako everytime I read melodramatic stuff and now i'm doing the same thing. Everything is so irritating..

Any way kelangan ko nang umalis kasi wala na kong pera. Yun pa, another thing..pag wala kang pera sobrang nakakadepress. I just wrote this kasi I needed to get it off my head. babalik na naman ako sa dorm where again Apple would nag me to death about stupid trivial stuff, and where makikita ko na naman ang mga libro ko and maaalala ko na naman ang school, and everthing about school. irritating. I feel like such a wuss it irritates me. grr.