I missed Shaider again :(

I should be doing my homework now, pero matagal na kong di naguupdate, so...

Right now we're assigned sa NCMH, that's National Center for Mental Health, may two weeks pa kami left, and I really really can't wait till it's over, gusto ko nang mag-iba ng shift!!!

It's not because it's physically demanding na tipong you have to stand around a lot(like in the hospital wards), on the contrary, parati nga kaming nakaupo dito eh. We don't even give meds. All we ever do there is sit around and talk to them. Initially, I didn't want to call them baliw, because I think the term is so derogatory and mean and reserved for those extremely bad people na rapists, but now, I think the term is so appropriate for them. I'm lucky, cause my patient's quite mellow, but the others there, sobrang baliw sila talaga! Last week, we had this homework wherein we were supposed to do a transcript of all of our conversations with them, and analyze it (yung continuation nung transcript is what I should be doing now instead of this...). While I was remembering my conversation with my patient, I realized na there's nothing really good we can do for them. That's the saddest part for me, cause I really felt that mga hopeless cases na sila. There really is no cure for them.

My patient's name is Neneng, though I doubt if that's really her nickname. She's really mellow, as opposed to the others, who are really aggressive and manipulative. Actually, she's very nice, though she's disoriented and her thinking is like that of a seven year old, and our conversation lacks sense most of the time. Makulit din siya, and everytime we meet, she asks, "anong dinala mo sa kin?". Pero cute din siya, overweight, and I smile whenever I observe her from afar. She really is like a kid. Maybe I will buy her a pair of red slippers...

While I was reading about Schizophrenia, I remembered Van Gogh, cause I did a report on him last year. Actually, hindi sila sure if he had bipolar disorder, or if he was a schizophrenic. Well, whatever it is, feeling ko, the reason why his paintings look that way (as if it's moving, or constantly in motion, fluidlike) is because of the hallucinations he's experiencing. Nobody can paint better than him, and nobody paints like him. I remember looking at Starry Night and how it seems to have a life of its own. He's my favorite painter/ historical person, kasi whenever you look at his paintings, you just can't help but sigh.

*****

I also should be doing our Lit paper now, eh...ang hirap kasi. Poems, of all things. Poems are my least favorite kind of writing because I can't understand them. Tapos, yung napili pa namin na book, it's so hard to comprehend since sobrang symbolical siya. Whenever I read it, I get irritated kasi I think it's just all about sex. Nakalagay "love poems" pero puro sexual undertones naman eh!!! I really can't appreciate it. The writer is supposedly homosexual, and coincidentally was one of my sister's professors. Which makes me think na why is it that most of the homosexuals I come across are so SPO? Well, not really most, just some, and yun yung mga tipong ladlad na talaga. Dahil ba they were repressed before? Inherent na ba sa kanila yun? If you're gay, does it follow na (sexually) liberated ka na rin? I have nothing against them, in fact I think they're the best kind of people you can be friends with, pero curious lang naman ako...

*****
NA MISS KO NA NAMAN ANG SHAIDER!!! two weeks in a row na yun ah...kainis!!!