"4. Write about your troubles. Keep a journal to record your fears, worries, and concerns. Studies show that writing about a negative experience for twenty minutes about three times a week can give you a sense of control over the problem and boost your body's immune function. Handwrite your worries away in a notebook or type them into a computer file. " -How to Reduce Personal Anxiety, http://www.allsands.com/Health/Alternative/reduce-personal-anxiety.htm

Sobrang na-toxic ako kanina. It's bad already that we have saturday classes, pero inextend pa nila! What's more, sobrang tinakot nila kami. Fortunately or unfortunately, OR (Operating Room) yung una namin shift, which turns out is the HARDEST shift in the entire nursing course. It's like a crash course on Surgery, as in crash course talaga (feeling mo mamatay ka na). OUr CI managed to squeeze at least a week's worth of lecture into 7 hours. What's frustrating is that hindi ako nakinig masyado kasi sobrang inaantok na ako. Then, next week, we'll have our return demos ( sort of practical exams) then immedietely after that, magiging scrubs na kami. Scrubs, as in scrub nurse during actual operations, with real people, real instruments, and real doctors. Scary talaga. A Scrub nurse, as i have painfully discovered a while ago during our lecture-slash-scarefest, is no joke. She is as important, and (should be) as skilled, as the surgeon. She could literally botch the whole operation with just one erroneous move. She could render the whole instrument set, no, the whole OR, UNSTERILE and delay what could be an emergency, a LIFE-saving operation. Having too much responsibility is my biggest fear.

I'll sleep na. Kanina pa dapat ako natutulog. Wish me luck.

Cello music for the Depressed

Listening to cello music can really depress you. Nag-eemote nga ako ngayon sa kwarto ng mom ko. Actually I was already sad kanina pa, because I was thinking of school and how hard it'll be, and how i'll have to deal with endless bouts of embarassment everytime the CI will throw you that (ego-killing) "ba't di mo alam yan!?!" line (with matching pahabol "third year ka na nga e..." pa). Sana naman tumagal ako, basta makagraduate ok na.
things that I am currently worrying about:
1. School-homeworks, quizzes exams, practicals,etc....the usual stuff that make you want to kill yourself.
2. Dorm- ayoko ko nang kumain sa styrofoam!!! Puro fastfood na naman ang magiging laman ng tiyan ko. I might just die of MSG overdose.
3. I'l have to take care of Apple. Looking after her is hard work kahit na 16 years old na siya. Huhuhu :(

...ano ba yan, wala pa ngang school, ang dami ko nang pimples. Kainis talaga.

By the way, the "cello music" I was talking about is this beautiful piece from the soundtrack of Il Mare. I was able to finish the movie, and maganda siya. I hate dramas, but this one was an exception...it's a must-watch for everyone.

Update: Apparently our country is in chaos (again). Sammy Ong and his "mother of all tapes" just might kick GMA out of office, but after that, then what? Sino na magiging presidente?

Grrr. I'm quite frustrated right now. The vcd that I bought was crappy!!! The copy, I mean, not the movie itself. Ang mahal pa naman! I bought it for 1oo pesos each disc. Wala na kasing ibang store na nagbebenta nun, plus, highly recommended pa yung movie, so I bought it. Nasira yung aking viewing pleasure!!! During the middle part of the movie, it was scrambling so bad, I had to stpo watching it. I'm so mad!Anyway, I'll try watching it later sa player ng sister ko. Baka magwork dun...

Anyway, the movie's name was,"Il Mare".It means, "the sea", though I'm not sure whether it's Italian or Spanish. Or French. I think it might be Italian. The storyline was very unique, like a cross between "You've Got Mail" and "Frequency" (actually ginaya ko lang yung sinabi ng isang reviewer sa Internet..hehe). The movie opens with this girl who's moving out of this house by the sea. She leaves a letter in the mailbox, addressing it to whoever will be the next occupant of the house. Then , next scene, a guy moves into that same house, and names it "Il Mare". He sees the letter in the mailbox, and reads it. What's strange is that the letter is dated 1999...when it's actually 1997 only. Gets? Well I'm bad at making summaries, but basically, the girl from 1999 starts to communicate with the guy from 97 via the "magic mailbox", and they fall in love, etc, etc. It's not as corny as it sounds at all. It's actually a very nice film, with good cinematography, good direction, good musical scoring,etc...I just like it because it's a subtle romance and not your overlydramatic-with-overlysappy-lines movie. By the way, the movie is Korean, and I heard from somewhere that there will be a Hollywood remake of this starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Ano ba yan, even Holywood is running out of ideas. I thought our local industry was the only one na gaya-gaya sa mga films. Well...at least in hollywood they buy the rights.

Speaking of our own local movie industry, I saw Peque Gallaga's interview on Straight talk, and it seems that he's resuming his direction with "Pinoy Blonde", a new film from Unitel. Anyway he commented on how our movie industry is improving and is how there are a lot of good films emerging. Yeah right...the last trailer of a good movie that I saw was...well, "Oro plata mata" from Cinema One. Okay, I admit that I've only watched a few local films, pero kasi, you could tell from watching the trailers (lalo na yung from Star Cinema...yung bagong movie nila) na sobrang sappy yung movie. I don't know, maybe I'm just biased, because I kinda hate the local actors here.
I think, I'd rather watch old films, kahit na black and white na, especially my lola's films. Too bad na wala nang copies dito. I'd love to watch Lino Brocka's films. My mother was saying of how, back then, there were no cable tvs, no pirated dvds and no internet, no form of entertainment at all, save from the local movies. That's why no matter how bad your movie was, people will still go see it because they have nothing better to do. She says that that time was the "Golden Age of Local Cinema". Now, I guess, it's the "Green Age of Local Cinema"...since maraming x-rated films ngayon...hehe.

Sorry, I think I've bored you with my uncalled-for lecture of the history of local cinema...anyway, till next time. I'll now try watching the movie again. Wish me luck.

Last night, while I was thinking of school and how it'll begin really soon, it was strange, but I was overcome with excitement! For the first time, the thought of going back to school made me feel happy. I just enrolled yesterday, I got my schedule, and it wasn't bad...
-Monday and Tuesday--- 7 am to 4 pm...whole day :(
-Wednesday--- 9 am to 12 nn ONLY!!!! woohoo!
-Thursday and Friday---12 pm to 5 pm of RLE/duty...at least afternoon. Di ako male-late kasi hindi mahirap gumising.
-Saturday (WHY?!?!?)--- 12 TO 5 PM duty again. kainis!
-Sunday---wala naman...sobra sila pag nilagyan pa nila dito ha! Sunday is the Lord's day...rest day right? (nagpaparinig pa rin sa mga CWTS coordinators kahit tapos na. This is a bit off-topic, but our CWTS facilitator really gave us hell. He made us girls carry sacks and sacks of gravel(?) accidentally mixed with...dog poo. Dumpsite kasi galing yung mga hinakot na gravel. Bad memories talaga...)
I think the best part of my sked is that I only have two morning classes! Tapos yung ibang days I won't have to wake up so early...yeahhh!!!
...The truth is,I'll probably eat my words once school starts and the workload piles up...but for now, I'll relish in my first-ever, first-day school excitement!!!